Swimming Against The Current
Everyone thought I was insane. Well, most did anyway. And had I been at the other end, I would've thought I was pretty darn crazy myself.
For months I deliberated. There were many lists - pros and cons, opporunties and threats (no I'm not being dramatic! It's about my career for Chrissake!), the good, the bad. And finally I chose being at home with my parents with perhaps a mediocre job over a flashy start to what I'm hoping will be a brilliant career either way.
It was a difficult decision. And making that dreaded phone call to turn down the job was heart wrenching. It was like a messy break-up, with me feeling empty the following morning, wondering what my life will be like henceforth.
I won't lie. There have been 'what-ifs' that have crossed my mind, ever so fleetingly. Especially when you get a polite rejection letter. But then redemption comes.
For me it came on the way back from a desert safari, in a bus that was a hodgepodge of Germans, Indians and Iranians, each chattering away in a language that essentially built a barrier between us. We were different, and really, had very little in common. I was wrong, however. We chatted away with the German about Pune, amazed when he correctly called it a 'student's city', and about Raj Kapoor's music that was blaring away on the overhead speakers. And although we didn't converse with the Iranians, the wall came down when one of them played Hotel California on his laptop and we all sang along.
It was an experience I have never had in my three years in India. I found that there is something new to gain in this city I know as my home. And it gave me courage.
This courages emerges from the knowledge that you have stepped in a direction everyone believes is the wrong way to go. This courage emerges from the will to fight a fear - the fear that they may be right. And you push hard as you swim against the current.
For months I deliberated. There were many lists - pros and cons, opporunties and threats (no I'm not being dramatic! It's about my career for Chrissake!), the good, the bad. And finally I chose being at home with my parents with perhaps a mediocre job over a flashy start to what I'm hoping will be a brilliant career either way.
It was a difficult decision. And making that dreaded phone call to turn down the job was heart wrenching. It was like a messy break-up, with me feeling empty the following morning, wondering what my life will be like henceforth.
I won't lie. There have been 'what-ifs' that have crossed my mind, ever so fleetingly. Especially when you get a polite rejection letter. But then redemption comes.
For me it came on the way back from a desert safari, in a bus that was a hodgepodge of Germans, Indians and Iranians, each chattering away in a language that essentially built a barrier between us. We were different, and really, had very little in common. I was wrong, however. We chatted away with the German about Pune, amazed when he correctly called it a 'student's city', and about Raj Kapoor's music that was blaring away on the overhead speakers. And although we didn't converse with the Iranians, the wall came down when one of them played Hotel California on his laptop and we all sang along.
It was an experience I have never had in my three years in India. I found that there is something new to gain in this city I know as my home. And it gave me courage.
This courages emerges from the knowledge that you have stepped in a direction everyone believes is the wrong way to go. This courage emerges from the will to fight a fear - the fear that they may be right. And you push hard as you swim against the current.
posted by Melanie at 10:31 PM
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