Opening Our Eyes To Blind Faith

At present we live in a world where the flavour of the week is globalisation. And in this era, where the world comes together, breaking barriers of race, there is another key word that rules the day: Secularism.

By this, each is permitted to practice their own religion in whatever manner they please, free from the mandate of any authority. Perhaps I speak of a democratic world. But for me, this has always been the norm. So the new catch phrase, and often one I find myself saying often enough, is: My faith is my own.

Yet I have been brought up in an environment where I had to conform to certain religious norms. Either they were that of my parents or that of society. Irrespective, I followed blindly.

But it was at a certain age where I began to question, to probe further, to ask the 'wrong' questions. Blind faith has been a central feature of Catholicism. Accept as you have been taught, for it is the Right Way, the Right Truth and the Right Life.

Despite this, I have questioned. But only in the vestige of my mind and among my nearest and dearest ones. But I have been afraid to question, for doing so, would mean to unearth the wrath of God.

All these thoughts had been dormant for some time now. But it all came rushing back as I read words similar to my very own ideas about 'asking questions.' The Agony and the Ecstasy has Prior Bichiellini speaking of his school library where there are 'no forbidden books. We insist that our students remain free to think, inquire, doubt.'

Doubt. That's the key word. We are all afraid of doubting, because doubt is synonymous with a lack of faith and that could get you into all sorts of trouble! (The blazing fires of hell come to mind) I remember reading about the evils of 'smart reading' that bring about this doubt. And so reading anything anti-Christ or deemed anti-Christ (and here I refer to the infamous Da Vinci Code) must be avoided!

And so we fear to doubt. But I like what Prior Bichiellini had to say about that. And with his words, I close:

We do not fear that Catholicism will suffer from our liberality; our religion is strengthened as the minds of our students grow mature.

I'm Gonna Be OK

So often I long for that moment of clarity. I've spoken about it before. It's that moment when you're so sure about something, maybe everything.

I sat here for a second in pitch black darkness. With a lone light streaming in through a crack in the curtains. How romantic and serene if it were the moonlight. Tempted, I looked. A lone lampost in the distance, shining its few watts of power right through my bedroom window. However little, it served its purpose and added to my moment of serenity.

Sometimes, with your system cleared (for me that was having just puked), lying back in the darkness, with solitude and silence, is all you need to cure your sickness. It's the aftermath of a torturous moment (and by that, once again, I refer to my horrendous puking). It's one of the most satisfying feelings in the world - knowing everything's going to be ok.

Because lucky for me, I have my sister running around for me. And my flatmate right next to her. And my friends nearby bringing me food and bringing the outside world in. And my friends across seas and continents chatting with me, saying the sweetest things - for that's all they can do and that's enough. And for my parents, who call every day wishing they could be there with me and take care of me, like old times.

For all that I am lucky. For all that I am blessed. And for it all, I am very grateful.